My old friend, tweeked

Let me explain this. First: I am not suicidal.
Second: Perhaps "hate" was a strong word.
Third: Disappointment is closer.

Fourth: Hormones combined with stress to create the pervious incarnation of this entry, and I apologize for scaring you. I' seem to be aplogizing for a lot lately, and to make up for it, I'll simply not blog about a lot of things. Solves everyone's problem, doesn't it?

No one gets upset, no one has to apologize. I'll start keeping a private diary instead of this.

No, no, I'm not leaving the blogsphere. Just removing part of myself from it.

I will now obey orders, leave the office, and go sleep some.

By the way, thanks for the phone call; I'd been wondering when we'd get to talk. While I can't say it was enjoyable, it was at the least reassuring. I hope the next is more the key of B Normal. I love you both very much.

End. (proper ending will not scare people)

Blaurgh

My body is finally giving up. I'm going to have to call it quits a whole hour early tonight. I can use the extra sleep, I suppose, and perhaps I'll be more refreshed than usual later today. I hope so, for Twitchy's sake. He needs some viable students in the class.

Poetry paper is still unfinished. It isn't that I care a whole lot about it--I don't. It's that I care so little about it that my brain doesn't want to do it. I've fooled myself so far, but I'm running out of BS about this subject. I will be glad to never do any poetry again. The only poetry I will tolerate after this semester is out is the stuff that shows up in my inbox every day from MN or somewhere.

That's all. If only the damn paper came as easily as this.

End.

Introducing: Topic number six!

Have I mentioned my dislike for this class/assignment/poet? No?

Okay. The assignment is as follows:

• No sources allowed, except the poet himself.


• 10 pages.


• No outside sources.


• "Tell me what you think about the poet.


• Sources = bad.


• How does his poetry fit into his system of thought?


• Oh, and don't actually look for information anywhere. You have to pull it all out of your ass.

Now I mean, original ideas are great, but inspiration is better. A little backup goes a long way with papers. I tell all my freshfolk to use sources in an attempt to support what they write, but here I am forbidden to take my own advice. Even folks who write scholarly articles read up on all the prior scholarly dialogue so they don't look stupid. We're being set up here.

And yeah. The topic changed again. At this rate, I'll never get to the two page mark.

End.

So. Can we nail down a topic?

I have discovered about four different topics I could use in this stupid paper. I've also read everything the poet wrote. Turns out, stupid little old man isn't cooperating, and none of those topics are viable. I read the whole damn collection of essay, letters, lectures, interviews, etc (over 200 pages) looking for topic one, and find like five sentences. So I think about all the stuff I vaguely recalled about topic 2, and breeze through it again to find a whole paragraph. Repeat infinitum. I need 10 pages, Frost, could you work with me here?

On the lighter side, my final topic is so vague that he says lots of stuff on it. About one page worth, all put together. Now I can go find poems that match it. If this doesn't work, and none of the poems have anything to do with what he says his poems have to do with, I'll rip his book apart.

Ten pages begin now. I've got a few quotes. I've got an introduction. I've got a title (Kick Ass Title Here). There's a chance I can do this. It's for poetry. It doesn't have to be brilliant, because even if it is, he won't agree.

End.

Ah, back home...

After a brief stopover at the apartment early this morning, I'm back where I ought to be: up at the office, drinking liquid sleep and writing flattering lies about Frost. It's cold up here now, and rainy. But you know, sitting here at the computer with a sweater on, a coat across my legs and a baggy shirt draped over my shoulders, the only part of me that's cold anymore are my feet. Oh well. Just had to take a break. Back at it.

End.

Lone Grader Retires Again

Have decided not to engage in clandestine Topic bashing under an assumed name. Have an excellent website in mind, however, and plan to spend part of the summer working out the HTML for my own, personal pleasure. I need the money, can't afford to be caught and fired (and firing would follow my proposed site and its accompanying chant, no doubts there), and really, if they make the changes we've been rioting for, the system won't suck...as badly. However, if certain of my admittedly small reader base would be interested in seeing such a thing... I figure I can keep it on a CD, and if it never leaves my computer to begin a new life online, it's perfectly safe. They can't fire me for drawing up posters declaring my feelings of anti-ICONism. And they can't fire me for having a disk full of anti-ICONic vitriol. And if what I have in mind isn't venting, I don't know what is.

End.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a dumb-ass!

I'm reading a draft where the kid is arguing that America met all of its objectives in Vietnam and decided to pull out since the job was done. Remarkably, this child's counterargument was very well done, while the attempt to disprove fact was shaky. Now, do I tell him he's flat out wrong, and that his argument doesn't hold water, or do I point out that he's chosen a rather large subject to address in 1200 words? I think the latter, though there will certainly be overtones of the former. Sadly, he's already turned in the last draft of the cycle, and there's no hope for him.

More dumb drafts to come, as the Lone Grader finishes up!

Pimentos...pimentos...where can I find some pimentos?

Wal-mart has no pimentos. They aren't with the olives, the pickles, the spices, the baking goods, the canned veggies, the tomato sauces... I want to make a cheese quesadilla with pimentos and green chilies. I cannot do this with the pimentos. And those little jars are great for keeping earrings in. No part of the pimento package goes to waste. And yet, they are absent from the shelves.

I'm out of fruit, veggies, and juice. So I'll head up to United later today and do my monthly food-run. Maybe they will have pimentos.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike some of the readings I have to do this semester? Well I dislike them. The only ones I've found to be all around tolerable are the Victorian lit ones.

This is about all I can afford to do right now. I have to find something deep and meaningful that Frost wrote. Several deep and meaningful things, actually, and not just poems. This is made a bit more difficult by the little fact that I don't find a single word the man wrote to be either deep or meaningful. But we'll pretend until the paper's written and I can fill out course evaluations. I plan to have a sheet of comments that I'll transpose into the little "what else?" box. This will save me time.

End.

Minor Celebration in Order

My paper is now printing. I done a whole 1 1/2 hours early! Yeah, I had to run home and write it here, and yeah, Hotmail's all screwed up now, so even if I had emailed it to myself, I would have lost it.

But the paper's written, printed, and soon to be stapled. The book is... well, not finished. But I am the Queen of BS, and that does not matter. I read the last five pages, and that is enough. I can at least wax poetic about the very end.

Well, I'm off to prepare my dinner to take to class, and then to go to class, followed by frenzied grading and play time with kitty.

Then Hell Week begins. Wish me luck.

End.

Can She Do It?

310 pages.
Paper due in 14 hours.
Class in 10 hours.
Roughly 12 hours of workable time left.
Still must shower, sleep (you may laugh if you wish), eat, and transport self to office.
Cannot print paper at office, therefore:
Must have paper ready in roughly nine hours.

How many hours can I devote to sleep? I'm thinking about two tonight. That's only a little down from four and five the last two nights. I have 17 papers to grade still, and can do those after class tonight at nine. I figure I'll be in bed by 11, which is the earliest I've contemplated sleep in forever. Then, I begin writing my three papers. 60 pages. Seven days.

And the question of the night is:

Can She Do It?

I'm Too Young to be the Lone Grader!

Will this never end!?!? I am alone again in this paper swamp. Reading drafts about football players who need money, and the "sell of alchahale" in Dirt Town. Is there no quality out there? No "A" papers? No high "B" papers? Hell, I'd settle for a paper that deserved a borderline "C+" slapped across it. These poor, poor dumb asses aren't learning anything. I could cry. They're all going to graduate and not know anything. They'll all flounder in the world and blame us. My comments are longer than their papers. This is not how teaching is supposed to be.

There's a draft in here about how making cupcakes illegal is an infringement on parents' rights! Where do they come up with this crap? Why can't they spell alcohol? I'd think that's something they'd be moderately familiar with. The one serious draft I've gotten was about how dyslexics aren't given enough help on assignments. There were many grammar and spelling errors that Word would have caught, so I'm not sure if the writer had some personal experience or was just lazy. It made the "you have bad grammar" comment a bit tricky. When this grading is over for good (22 drafts from now!!!!!), I'm going to celebrate by burning the 1301 textbook.

The Lone Grader must continue. No haiku this morning. Sorry.

End.

Oh yeah. Almost forgot the human cloning draft: it argued that a logical fear concerning cloning was that the terrorists could make an army of superhumans to storm the democratic world. Kid you not. 'Night.

And the Lone Grader Retires for the Night...

No breakfast. The diet coke has abandoned me in this final hour. The cat's asleep, for crying out loud, and this is her normal active hour. She's whistling in her sleep. It's sweet.

But in any case, this grader must quit. No breakfast. the pillow sounds much nicer. much nicer. soft. pillows...

yes nod

nod again

crash of keyboard and forehead, glorious meeting...

...drooool....



zzz

The Lone Grader Rides Again!

Still at it. I'm the only one left. The others started to drop off at about 2, but then at three-fifty-ish, the last fellow grader abandoned me. I am, once more, the Lone Grader. This is only the second time in a week. But that's okay. I've accepted it. In the last however many hours, I've graded all but about 40 of my papers for the rest of the semester. That's over 100 papers. If ever there were a Lone Grader, it were I. I think. It's a bit too late at night to tell if that's right. (This is why I don't tag for grammar after 1 am.)

Ah well. I've still got about 1 1/2 weeks' worth of papers to grade, and there are just barely enough 4.1s left for me to get them all done in under 600 words apiece. After a while, the kids just start babbling, and their drafts get longer. But the average is still 450-500 words, so they're infinitely better than 1200.

To sustain myself through the long night, I've got a gallon jug of water (one full cup every three drafts = Rehkmira the human Mr. Coffee, percolating all night, and never at rest for more than an hour), and a can or two of diet coke, since caffeine is an ally to depend on in these dark times.

I might eat breakfast in an hour or so. That would be something. I think I'll have stir fry. I've still got about four cups of boiled chicken from my "whole chicken meets pot of water to create homemade chicken broth" craze a few days ago. I'll take it out of the freezer, hack off a few chunks, and fry it up in soy sause. Add some rice noodles and some broccoli I've got sitting in the fridge...

But in the meantime, my break is over, and I must return to the machine. I'm the Lone Cog, don't you know?

Still turning, yearning
To quit, this cog spins their drafts
Into golden grades.

End.... or is it???

Oops...

This blog entry has been removed due to its objectionable content. I apologize for representations contained therein.

Please don't sue me!

End.

In the Key of Argh Major

Okay. There are a whole nine 3.3 drafts left before the lovely 4.1s come down the shute. When they hit, I grade until I fall asleep at the keyboard, trying to get them ALL. This is my chance to get finished in one big shot. This is my chance to move ahead in grading so that I can devote my time to paper writing. And you know what? Those nine drafts ARE NOT MOVING. Not going anywhere. No one is grading them.

Now, I've already done my share for the week, minus six. I'm not grading six 1200 word long drafts if I can wait it out and get to the 400 word wonders. I'm not stupid. By the time I graded all six of the crappy 3.3s, I'd be too exhausted to touch the 4.1s. So we'll watch the system like a hawk on Monday, and swoop down to devour the helpless 4.1 prey.

There's the plan. I mean, I've scheduled myself to not do the reading for Tuesday's class so that I can grade them all. It's planned. I've stayed up this long waiting for the motherload. It ain't on its way. This is getting frustrating. I've done my share, now these lazy ass DIs need to do their part. It's only right. On the bright side, I've done all of next week's second reads while waiting, and there are none left for the pansy lazy ass DIs who aren't doing their work. HA!

I'm getting up early to do 4.1s. They might be out in the system by about 8 am if folks get cracking. Then again, they might all be gone by noon, if too many folks get cracking. There's a careful balance. I plan to shove a few people off the bridge at least in my quest to obtain the most 4.1s. It's war now. I will win. I will be victorious. I will trample those in my path.

But first, I'm getting my requisit 5-ish hours of sleep.

End.

Oh, the Poor Little Dumb-Asses

If you turned in a paper with grammar so bad that the instructor told you he gave up before even starting to circle mistakes, and that he was referring you to the UWC for the help you needed, how would you respond? Would you:

• A) Go to the University Writing Center and beg for help


• B) Cry (that's always an option)


• C) Look over your paper to see if you can catch anything


• or D) Turn in another draft just as bad as the one before it

Dumb-asses everywhere are choosing D. D is for Dumb-ass, remember?

But seriously, this kid must have had someone else write his application, or he'd never have gotten into this university. By Con-U standards, this guy would not be able to pass enough muster to get into the basic writing course (that's remedial writing for those of you who are unfamiliar with political correctness). I'm serious. Director J would have had to flunk this kid out before the first assignment got turned in.

I include for you, below, the entire comment and the entire error log I rang up. 218 error points. The only draft I've seen that was worse than this one was so bad I couldn't read it aloud to Pandora. That one was written by an education major, scarily enough, and was about TAAS testing, I believe. It's a bit hard to tell.

I'd put the actual draft up, but I think that's illegal. This might also be illegal, and if it is, and someone out there knows that, tell me and I'll take it down.

Meeting Criteria
Overall, this is not an adequate draft. You meet few of the criteria, and those aren't met well at all. Below, I've gone into more detail about how you have failed to meet the criteria and why you failed this assignment.

Rather than describe a problem, you have described a company, which is irrelevant to the assignment. When you do get around to a problem, you list two of them. There can only be one problem for this draft, or you will not be able to pose solutions to it. Your draft will be all over the place, like this one is.

You have one solution for each problem, and your solutions are vague. You say that water will be good for variety, that it will be cast aside if it's too expensive, and that it's the best solution. This isn't at all specific and detailed. Likewise, you talk about there not being enough truck drivers, and the solution is to "keep the company one or two drivers short." How can this possibly solve that problem?

The recommendation you offer is that the solutions you've proposed are the best ones. This is not at all what we wanted. Which of your solutions is the best way to go? You have not recommended one of them.

You have only one source. Saying that "research shows" something does not count as a source.

Grammar. Below, I have tagged some of your grammar errors, separated by paragraph. Your error weight is 218. This can be fixed very simply: Paste your work into a word processing program (like WORD), and change everything that gets underlined in red. At least half of these errors are simple spelling mistakes that don't require more than a swapped letter or two. Be responsible. Proofread your work.

Number of words in this draft: 612
-------------
First Paragraph:
" distrabution" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" who and what the company does" The company does someone?

" Arctic Glacier has been around for several years, the company bought out host ice ten years ago making it?s size significantly larger." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" host ice " Capital letter [weight=3]

" it?s size" Its Error [weight=5]

" An Ice company" Capital letter [weight=3]

" delevers" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" The process may seem simple[,] but many problems may occure. " [1301--ch. 6] Comma, compound sentence [weight=4]

" occure" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

Second Paragraph:

" occure" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" faced with downward sells [sales?]" Editing Errors [weight=6]

" products them selves [themselves]" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" For example, Ice" Capital letter [weight=3]

" it cost[s] the company about fifeteen cents to make it" Verb Tense Shift [weight=5]

" For example, Ice is made by reverse osmosis, it cost the company about fifeteen cents to make it, they then turn around and sell it for about sixty cents." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6] [1301--ch. 5] Run-On or Fused Sentence [weight=6]

" It is clear that ice is profitable, the problem occures when demand for ice is low. " [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" occures" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" The solution to this problem has been stated before, the company should envest in making different products such as bottle water." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" envest " [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" the project will [be] scraped" Verb Form, incorrect [weight=7]

" scraped" [you mean "scrapped"] [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" feasable" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" Most water company use " Editing Errors [weight=6]

" Most water company use reverse osmosis to make their water and Arctic Glacier has the capability to make this product." [1301--ch. 6] Comma, compound sentence [weight=4]

Paragraph Three:

" delevering " [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" maoney" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" vary costly" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" Filling up a truck is vary costly but with all the money that the company makes this is not a large problem." [1301--ch. 6] Comma, compound sentence [weight=4]

" occures" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" drive the drucks." [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" when you fully staffed." Verb Form, incorrect [weight=7] You [weight=2]

" commision" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" commision" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" commision sells [sales?????]" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" Their commision sells can be small if weather is bad, there are not enough stores for all the drivers. " [1301--ch. 5] Run-On or Fused Sentence [weight=6] [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" they would get all split most of the commision," [what?!?!?] Editing Errors [weight=6] [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" if the [worker] (singular) is happier at [their] (plural) job they tend to work harder" [1301--ch. 10]Pronoun Agreement [weight=5]

Paragraph Four:

" Arctic Glacier Ice Companies most common problems." [1301--ch. 9]Apostrophes [weight=5]

" companies problems " [1301--ch. 9]Apostrophes [weight=5]

" The problems given are some that are debated about in the company, with a feasible solution any work related problem can be solved." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

The End.

Wow. As the Crocodile Hunter says: Isn't she a beauty?

I've stopped grading for the night, because my next comment won't be so nice. I won't risk it.

End.

Happy Tax Day!

This is on my list of things to do today, but I can't for the life of me think of anything that needs to be blogged about. Um...

By now you can probably see all my blogs listed in the profile page, since I've finally ridden the blogshpere of the work-related blog. Now I am free to display my personal blog, without the Man getting irate. The Man now has to look me up instead of clicking a link on his dandy little homepage. I'm free!

I finally got around to purchasing a receipt stake. Now I can skewer all my receipts and keep track of them. Before, they all got shoved into a pocket of my purse then crammed into a file folder all out of order. I know. It's just awful, isn't it? But not anymore. Now I'll take them out of my purse and shove them down, Vlad style, on the stake. Yeah buddy.

Hmmm. The remaining items on the list include:

• Grading


• Knitting


• Eustace Diamonds


• Balance checkbook


• Schedule papers

While I haven't blogged about much, I feel I have at least accomplished the task of blogging. I might now move on to grading, since I'll get sick of that and move on to the others. If I choose one of the others, I might just keep going all night. Especially knitting. I'm about a foot into a fuzzy pink I-cord, and then I'll make a little baglette to go with it, and I'll keep laundry quarters in it. M-hm. Most definitely.

Oh, and excitement of all excitements:

While I was re-leasing this apartment, I got to file an official complaint against the Screaming Duo. I'm not sure how many they need to collect to get talked to, but now that I understand how easy the process is, maybe they'll get a warning and walk to the stree corner before yelling and throwing things. Hell, maybe J-Screamer will stop slamming doors hard enough to make my windows rattle. I see potential in this process.

Well, I'm off to enlighten the masses. Wish them luck!

End.

Greetings One and All

I now have a thesis director. He says he doesn't like to read novels before they're finished, so I'll be giving him chapters as the time goes on, and he'll be putting those chapters in a box or something. But that's fine with me, as long as he demands chapters. Once I get it all written, we can go back and look at it more closely. Mother of IT isn't looking so scary this morning.

I finished the project for today a whole two hours early, so now I get to eat lunch before driving to school. Three of our number have had such projects early this week, and we're all of us still on edge. So cake is in order after Diseases. There's a visiting faculty member sitting in on our class today, and so I get to read my crap to her as well. This poses problems. The class regulars will sleep through my crap, and the Twitchy (that's the prof) won't ask me questions about it unless I pose questions to the class, which I won't, due to professional courtesy. This new element might not understand the system of passive receptiveness we've cultivated, and she might upset it all by asking a question or two. This worries me in particular, because I have not read the primary source for the week. My presentation is over the secondary one. At least the primary guy hasn't read the secondary. No one reads anything they don't have to in this class. Poor Twitchy. It's his own fault, really, for not providing any structure to the class.

Well, I'm off to eat my lunch. Then class. Then CAKE. Then E and I will drive around the neighborhood, examining houses. Fun!

End.

Behold, the power of the "Enter" key...

Okay folks. I've had, since about noon, nearly one gallon of tea. Really strong tea. Tea with caffeine. I've also been grading these silly little children. It's not going so well in the tactful comment department. I had this one kid. He didn't revise a thing. Turned in the same F-ing assignment twice. Tried to pass it off as confusion. I'm not stupid. I'm able to read his other drafts, and can tell that his last FOUR graders told him to change the same thing. He hasn't. It was time to get mean. I got mean. Below, you will find the comment it took me an hour to revise into politeness:

First comment: Your last 4 graders have commented on your habit of writing assignments with only one long paragraph. You have ignored them. I will try once more. PLEASE make judicious use of your "Enter" key. It is inconvenient and hard on the eyes to read a towering column of text. Also, your readers will have a difficult time finding/following lines in the text, since they all blend into one chunk. Each idea needs to have its own paragraph. This is important, since a reader is influenced by the appearance of the text as well as by that text's content. Behold, the power of the "Enter" key:

Now, about the actual content of your draft: This draft is, with the exception of about 30 words, identical to the last draft you turned in. The whole point of the draft system is that students revise their writing. Revision means writing the thing differently. It means improving as you move on. It means that you don't turn in the same draft twice.

Since you've done so little work here, I don't think you deserve even a single point of credit for this assignment. But I'll take the time to address the criteria for this assignment just to let you know how poorly you did. (Note to you bloggers: this used to read "But I'll settle for failing you.")

What exactly is the problem here? Is it that people are too busy? That they don't stop at gyms anymore? That gyms are becoming outdated? That gyms are losing money? You are not clear here about what your problem is.

Since the draft isn't one iota different from the 2.2, it naturally doesn't meet the scope criterion.

You've got a couple of vague solutions, including adding on to the gym, adding tanning beds, day care, different hours, and barring men or women from the gym during certain hours. There are many of these solutions, but none of them are discussed in length.

There is not recommendation for the decision maker, which is another new criterion you couldn't possibly have met with an old draft.

The same two sources are present, which weren't enough for the 3.2, and certainly aren't enough for the 3.3.

For grammar, your last instructor told you to keep a formal voice, and even pointed out an instance where you used an informal voice. You haven't changed it.

In short, you meet, out of 6 criteria, a total of 1 criterion. (Note to bloggers: I took out "Congratulations!" at this point.) This is why we tell you to revise your work.

This draft is insufficient, and will not earn you a passing grade.


Now, I ask you, wasn't that a nice comment? And I even gave the child forty points more than I had planned on giving. He got a 40%. I'm so kind!

No, but seriously, this trend is pissing me off. So many of these precious ones have decided that since the system is anonymous, they can fleece graders by turning things in twice, or by pretending that the other graders have said something or another was okay. Now, there's a chance that this particular child thought changing the spelling of three words and adding two commas, a period and a total of 30 words would be enough. But I doubt it. By now, the revision thing has been drilled into them. And when the last 4 people (FOUR POEPLE!!) tell you your writing is illegible due to lack of formatting, you'd think the tender babe would revise that. Right?

And that's the rant. The next three drafts each got an A. I was thankful for the paragraphs, and the effort to meet the criteria. They probably earned mid range B's, but you know? Every grade is partly the product of the draft, and partly the product of the drafts that went before.

Other than that, E and I raided the luncheon. We were like the Grinch, really. First, we made off with a platter piled with cookies. Then we came back for the brownies. The lunch meats and cheeses. Two loaves of bread. The lettuce, tomato, pickle and onion platter. The bags of chips (Doritos, Ruffles, Pretzels). The lemon juice packets, the salt, pepper, mustard, mayo, BBQ sauce, soy sauce and coffee creamer. The sugar, Equal, Sweet N Low, and coffee straws. The plastic cups, the Styrofoam cups, the plates. Two gallons of tea, and all the napkins (red and white). Forks, spoons, knives. We took it all. We gave nothing back. It is hidden in the graduate lounge (and our offices).

Then, there was a free dinner in Ed building, which we attended, of course. It is recruitment weekend, so there is stuff to do and eat all over the place. The best bit of all is that, as grad students, we are invited to everything in hopes that we'll convince them all to join us. And, before I get scathing reviews from the parental unit, we were invited to take all that food, etc. The English department had paid for it, and if it didn't disappear, the catering people would take it back. So.

That's my day. Car's inspected, food's stolen, drafts are graded, and tea is nearing the empty mark. Time to break out the second jug.

End.

Make Way! Major BIG Decision, Coming Through!

As the title up at the very head of the blog may suggest to those of you who actually pay attention to your surroundings (I suspect that's most of you), I am a graduate student. My area is creative writing. I have a life. Scratch that last one--that section of the title is misleading. In any case, one major portion of the degree I'm scrounging after and genuflecting for is a THESIS. This document (book length, I hear) is to be DEFENDED in front of whoever decides to show (I'm hoping for a small crowd). I have to do about six hours of thesis work as a part of the degree. This was to be crammed together for ease. The plan has changed. (That plan, I now know leaves me TWO MONTHS to write a book.)

Next semester, I begin writing my novel. Like, for real. Like, must be done. Like, people breathing down my neck and growling menacingly. Like, oh holy shit, what have I done!?!?!?!?!?

But I'm calmer now than I was a few hours ago, and feel ready at this point to actually start formulating a plan of action concerning this little detail in my degree. You all remember IT from the summer, where there was a horrible "weekend" during which I disappeared. This is ... wait for it ... Mother of IT. Read Beowulf some time. Observe Grendel, nasty little pricklette determined to eat all the Thanes (and who was marginally successful, excepting that arm thing). Observe Grendel's Mother, so unmentionably and evilly impressive that she gave the hero of the story a sound beating before he lopped her head off. I squeal in terror.

I can only hope my skills are up to par with Beowulf's, and that in the end, I will be lopping off Mother of IT's head, instead of the other way around. Even if I do prove to be ultimately triumphant, I will be sorely trounced into the mud before the final victory. So bear with me in this upcoming semester, as I struggle mightily against Mother of IT, whose name won't be in bold in subsequent entries.

On happier notes, I've signed up for classes, and get to do twice the GPTI work for ... not twice the pay. Ah well. Chances are I'll be in the classroom next semester. Um. Yeah, that's about all I have. I'm still recovering from the sudden change of plans (I mean, it took all of three minutes for the carpet to climb the wall and dump me on my ass), and will be spending the next week trying to convince CW faculty that they want to be my advisors. Lots of writing between now and Thursday to do so. Have to have many samples, and they all have to fit, and and and...

I'm going to stop this before I get so nervous I spin my wheels to no purpose.

End.

Congratulations to SR!!!

In sincere thankfulness for the comment issued by SR in an email concerning her Easter activities, I will make good on the promised prize. SR will, if she wishes, be receiving a hat as soon as it's crafted. By hand, mind. I've chosen a lovely red and silver yarn, very high quality (not from Wal-mart, Hobby Lobby, Michael's, etc., but from a real yarn shop), and rather soft. I'm going to practice on some musty blue stuff first, that cost about 1/4 what the red cost me. This store is wonderful, people. It had it's one year anniversary celebration, and everything was 25% off. That would be the only way I afforded the yarn. Some of the yarn in there is so expensive it would break me. So pretty, but not worth it. I could eat for a month on one skein of the stuff. Ah well. There's the prize, I'll take pictures of it as it moves along to let you know all about it, SR. Thanks!


Yesterday (or rather, Thursday), I delivered the most Kick Ass Presentation ever delivered by yours truly. I have never been so unprepared and yet so eloquent. No really. It was sweet. You see, I have been doing research on this book since I chose it months ago. There's nothing out there. I had to send in to all sorts of libraries across the country begging them to send me the articles I needed, and all but a handful said NO. Can you believe it? Who wouldn't want to share knowledge? They were asked politely. It just floors me. I would have paid.

Instead of semi-high quality research, I was left scrounging for trash on First-Search. But I got the amount of research needed to prove I'd been doing research (had to present on recent developments and then on my own idea), and got to describe what was so bad about the articles I read.

My own idea is to actually talk about the punishments characters receive for all the cool psychological/identity stuff they pull in Victorian novels. Folks have written about the tricks and sneaking, but they haven't touched on the retribution. That's where my propsed paper comes in. I was going to share my knowledge with you, but that seems to be against the current trend in research, so you'll just have to wait. That, and I'm going to bed.

End.