disaster averted... somewhat

okay. so i followed my plan. i arrived after i was sure all the smokies would be gone. there hadn't been any, so i suppose there was no need to go to the trouble of coming late. there had been some eggy potato bake with lots of cheese. it was gone when i arrived, so in a way, it was still a good plan. i'm not sure what would have gone into the eggy potato bake.

there was lots of nice fruit, and a heaping pile of krispy kreme doughnuts. i partook of fruit and stared at doughnuts. but i was good. no doughnut passed my lips.

all of our demos are finished for the new podiums. we had a grand total of two people show up, all told. the bitterness wells up within me. i have the desire to refuse help to people for the rest of the semester, citing their absence from the demos as just cause. but i know that's just not an option. next semester we'll have the regular "no demo -- no key" routine, and go over the new capabilities then. oh well. so much for trying to improve things during the semester.

after the demos, there was lunch. i knew that this lunch would have hamburgers and hot dogs. lots of chips. the requisite cookies at the end of the feeding trough table. i planned. i would eat two hamburger patties (ground beef is ground beef, even if someone else grills it; and hamburger patties are rarely anything more than ground beef when university catering is involved). i would eat a lot more lettuce than any ten burgers would require, and plenty of tomatoes. i would then leave the area before looking too closely at the chips and cookies.

here's where it all falls apart, my friends. i allowed (invited, if i'm going to be honest) one of the secretaries to convince me that the ooey, gooey, absolutely to die for fudge brownies were not processed. she did a good job. i ate a brownie.

the first bite was very good. so was the second. even the third. but after that it was just way too much. i had to set it aside and just listen to the music for a while before eating more. i did finish that brownie. it was the slowest consuming of sweets that i've ever had. but i did finish. and i felt a little queazy afterward. but later that afternoon, i walked by the area where catering was taking all the props down. i wanted another brownie.

apparently, these brownies are addictive.

nevertheless, i did not have a second brownie. and oddly, the thought of eating one right now is not an appealing thought. I could go for more of that fruit, or for another hamburger patty. but the brownie has no hold on my gastrointestinal attention span.

and that's the first day of recruitment weekend. tomorrow is another one, but i'm thinking i probably won't go. i'll get more work done here at the apartment for one, and i'd really rather spend the day here sneezing and blowing my nose than spend that same day in the office.

i can't wait for whatever's blooming to hurry up and shrivel.

love and peace

green season in dirt town

as the title suggests, the green days have descended upon this little town. it's one of my favorite seasons here, when the weather is perfect for long walks (i actually get off the bus at the s2 lot, and then walk a long, long way to the s1 lot, since the weather is so nice), and the trees are full of flowers. it's a great time to recruit folks, since the misleading lovely scenery is so inviting.

however, something started blooming this morning that hadn't been blooming before. i've spent my entire day sneezing and blowing my nose. no runny eyes, but since i've been home, i've used about a kleenex every three minutes. gross, i know. sorry. but i can't wait until whatever this is withers up and stops making me sneeze.

love and peace

the final stretch

this weekend is the one weekend i've been dreading all lent. recruitment weekend. two whole days of glorious, processed, FREE food. lots of people, lots of fun, lots of getting to know new folks and trying to convince them that this school is where they want to be for the next 2-5 years.

this is the weekend when grad students from across the building come together and catch up on old times, help the department mom get everything in order, and generally have a good time eating all the free food.

there is this secretary who makes the most delicious little smokie-wrapped-in-biscuit-and-cheese pigs in a blanket that are to die for. every single time she's made them, about all of us go hog wild and consume two days' worth of calories during the window of opportunity that is continental breakfast hour. we load up our plates, gobble them up. hoover, really. or dirt devil. i mean we literally make them disappear that fast.

they are so good that i, no longer being recruited, have routinely shown up at the english building as early as 7:30 on a saturday so that i might have the honor of devouring those little guys. oh, man.

there is, of course, a problem in this situation. little smokies are quite processed. so are kraft american cheese singles, or whatever you call the celophane-wrapped squares of yellow plastic. and so are canned biscuits, whose unnatural ingredients outweight the natural. none of these things can be consumed this side of easter morning.

i have, as i mentioned earlier, been dreading these two days. it's the home stretch of the no-processed-food lent, and while i have not really found myself missing stuff (not regularly, anyway), i am building up an intense regret about missing the annual little smokie pigs in blankets. the anticipatory regret is almost worse than guilt would be. still, i am resolutely not going to eat them.

i'm actually planning my friday around the little smokies, but not in the way i normally do. continental breakfast (and the smokies of sweet, sweet doom) takes place at nine [which is about an hour later than normal]. i start work at nine. the little smokies will be gone by 9:30, 9:40 at the latest. [no, i'm not kidding. they go that fast. why do you think i always got there so early? it's all about getting a place in line before they're gone.]

so. i need to be out of range until about 10:00, just to be absolutely safe. i know myself. the sight of a little smokie pig in a warm flaky blanket with slightly burned and therefore infinitely better tasting plastic cheese will destroy my resolve. [and i do have resolve. last thursday there was a meeting i had to attend, where they served pizza and homemade triple fudge brownies. i ate my dinner early and munched on grapes i brought from home. that's resolve, with the glistening pizza being eaten by your neighboring grad student and the scent of freshly baked crust wafting throughout the room... and not eating any. they were even begging people to take pizza home. so, yeah, i've got resolve.]

anyway, since class has been cancelled, i'm going to leave my apartment at about 9:30, which will put me on campus at around 10:00. i start work late, and stay through when i would have had class. all the hours are accounted for, but the little smokies of sweet, sweet doom are avoided.


and a note. on easter, i'm eating out. i want japanese, or chinese. preferably, i'll go to the tokyo down on 50th. alternatively, i may go the the china star on ave t or the great wall on 19th. maybe i'll take my officemate up on a lead and head out to his favorite sushi joint.

and now, for a little [more] quality homework before bed.

love and peace

the un-rant

last night, i finished my translation for old english. it makes no sense to me, and there is a word in there that cannot be found in a dictionary. two of them, in fact. and another word, which is in the dictionary: "ymb." the entry says: "ymb: see imb." okay. so we flip to the I section of the dictionary, and find "imb." the entry says: "imb: see ymb." yep. it's been like that.

i went to bed a little after midnight, fed up with the translation and calling it good enough. nevermind that it's a choppy, unwieldy beast of a page. it's done to the best of my abilities, and i don't care to spend any more time on it.

my neighbors' cat's suitor woke me again this morning at about three. while last time hasn't yet become funny for me, it has at least lost the sense of strife. it has become "that irritation that happened that night." maybe it will become "that irritation that happened with some degree of regularity." i hope not. this is only the second time.

i woke again this morning at around seven, and prepared myself for school and work. a note about how i spent my spring break might be in order here. during that week of freedom, i came to campus as usual, if not more often. my partner in crime and i equipped the podiums around the building with vga switches so that laptops could be used. it was tiresome work, though it was less frustrating after the wiring made sense. we started on the networking switches next, but did not get to finish them.

this week, no fewer than three users have complained about the changes, saying that things are now confusing. i fail to see how it can be confusing. nothing has changed if the pc tower is being used. there are no switches to flip, buttons to toggle, or anything. everything is set up so that the podium can be used exactly the way it has always been used.

unless...

a user has gone into the bowels of the podium and flipped unnecessary switches or turned things off. there is no reason to do this, but then, there's no reason to tear a remote off of its tail and take it home with you, either, when you consider that the remote only works for a single model of projector that's both old and expensive. users are freaks. what can i say?

so, this week, it was my honor to complete the podium renovations as regards networking switches. during this week, i have been stopped in the hall by no fewer than five users wondering why there are boxes in the podiums. i've told them to ignore them for the time being, and have informed them of upcoming demonstrations on new-and-improved podium use.

today, the podiums were completed in the vga and networking sense, but not in the new [read: no one mentioned that we were going to be doing this when i was working on podiums, so no, of course i don't have it done] sound-for-laptops capability sense. guess i have to go around to all the podiums again, install new cabling, lock down new cabling, and test new cabling. again. this news did not please me terribly.

a user came to ask me a question today about networking in one of the rooms. this user had seen the networking coming from the well [for use with laptops which would be sitting on top of the podium right by that well] and shoved it back down into the podium. then, unlocking the back of the podium and removing a heavy board, this user took the now-loose networking cable, and put it into the computer. to do this, the user took the computer's cable and put it in the switch.

why?

this user then asked whether or not we would be installing extra networking cables for the laptops on top of the podium.

readers. i did a bad thing. a not-very-professional thing. i stared at this user for a minute, likely allowing my thoughts to play across my face. then i told this user that s/he should never touch a cord in the podiums. i told the user that the cable s/he'd shoved down and tangled around was the extra networking cable for laptops, and that s/he'd just undone 30 minutes of my work. that i would be unable to access that podium until 5 today, and that everyone was off duty then. that someone would have to stay after hours to correct his/her stupid tampering with the cords. i then asked the ceiling why users felt compelled to screw things up in this manner.

now, i know this user. we are on very good terms, and i doubt there was any offense taken. in fact, we talked amiably not an hour afterward when we met in the hall. but still. it was a lapse i cannot afford to have again, because it is unprofessional and rude, and because the next user who catches me in a bad mood on a bad day to announce something stupid, irritating, and inconvenient may well be a high-ranking faculty member.

after this, i went to class. i turned in the pos translation and spent the next 80 minutes listening to more badly translated old english as we finished up caedmon's song. why 80 minutes? isn't the class only 50 minutes long? yes, it is. how funny that everyone remembers this except the professor. but getting out considerably late every single class period [and professor knows it, too; even tells us around 2:00} that s/he plans to keep us "a little longer" or [at 1:57] that we'll be getting out early today, by which s/he means 2:05] is only one of the things that have combined to drag today down.

the mini rca splitters were not yet installed on many [read: all but two] of the podiums, and demonstrations begin monday of next week. anyone care to guess who stayed after and put things in order? probably the two people who know the cabling in the podiums. who is giving the demo on monday right before the old english class? could be me. do i work on mondays? no.

still, when all of this is compiled, it isn't something big enough to ruin a day. it's just a bunch of stuff that was tiresome and/or irritating. why did it ruin my day? well, to be perfectly honest, i let it. i've been on edge all day, from the earliest morning hours to now. probably beyond now. i've let ordinary irritations slip under my skin and build up, making it easier to collect more ordinary irritations where normally they pass by.

all in all, i'm very thankful that it's friday, that i can spend my weekend away from all people, that i don't have to think about podiums for two days. and to better facilitate that people-less, non-podium thinking, i'm going to post this thing and let it leave my mind.

love, peace, etc.

rattled is an understatement

quite some time ago, i posted about my neighbors' new cat. i heard it yowling and thought it was a stray i might be able to get to a shelter. well. i was wrong about the cat then, and for a while now, i've been wrong again.

the cat i saw in their window was teeny tiny. so little i thought it had just been weened. wrong-o. this cat was old enough [and female enough] to go into heat about two weeks later.

and, to stay in heat from then until now. every night she starts up her yowling, and i've gotten pretty good at ignoring her. so has charlotte, who used to go nuts trying to find the mystery cat. so has festus who seemed frightened by the noise at first. i figured, soon, these idiots will get tired of the noise and take their cat to be spayed.

wrong-o.

why is it pissing me off in the early morning hours? why now, tonight, when i've put up with it for months without complaint?

i woke up from the first sound sleep i've had since january absolutely terrified out of my mind. i grabbed my cell phone and the extra pole from my closet and crept to the living room where, to judge from the banging thuds on my door and window, someone was attempting to break in.

what do i see out my window? a scrawny, flea-bitten cat who runs off when i flip on the light. what was this cat doing out there? trying to fight *my* two cats through the window and door. why was this cat doing this?

apparently, my neighbors' little whore of a cat finally got the attention of suiter and this aforementioned john decided my cats were rivals for her hand.

it'll be funny by about noon tomorrow. today. whatever. right now, all i know is that i'm too shaken to sleep and that if i see my neighbors anytime soon i'll be letting them know that their cat, and her company, is bothersome.

i mean what the fuck is that? i about called 911, thinking i was minutes from being brutally beaten, raped, robbed, murdered, you name it. good lord.

and good night.

ready

that is, i'm ready for spring break. it's right around the corner, but couldn't come soon enough to suit me.

i just spent over two hours (solid, no-daydreaming hours) struggling through a whole five lines of old english. five lines! there's something like three clauses in those lines, one of which isn't completed in my passage. all these little words that mean nothing on their own, but which combine somehow to say something "eloquent"... i could thrash good old alfred. if you're speaking and writing in old english, which doesn't opperate like latin, then don't try to use latin syntax. your vocabulary doesn't support it. even the verbs are tortured into place and don't mean what they mean. good god, what a headache.

next week, i get to go to the doctor, in part because i haven't gone in too long and i do see the need to get myself looked over. these last few periods have been varying degrees of hellish, and i may need to start adding hormones again. i can also ask her about my near-constant exhaustion, regardless of sleep. maybe that's all linked. the department mom seems to think i've got a repeat of mono, but i think she's crazy. if fatigue were the major symptom of mono, i'd be dead by now of a plumped up liver or whatever happens with serious, untreated mono. i had a dream that i'd gone to see this doctor and she diagnosed me with graduate school and gave me a perscription for dropping out and finding a regular job somewhere. yikes.

this week has seen a trip to the car doctor. i'll be honest. usually i try to wait until whatever's going on is absolutely dire before getting worked up over my car. but i was prompt and on the ball with this one. i mean, steering is a major important thing when driving, right? so if something's funky when you turn the wheel, you go check it out pronto. damn car was quiet as power outage in the shop. they couldn't get it to do what it had been doing, and so i get to wait and listen for it to repeat itself. grrr.

cats do not need to go the cat doctor, though, so we're cool on that front.

my jam turned out well, and all of the little jars sealed properly. this means i can store it for quite a while, and gift it without worrying about giving the gift of stomach upset. now it's a matter of remembering to bring the jars to campus for the chosen recipients. if you've got any idea how to mail home-canned jellies out of state, or if you even should do such a thing, someone comment to that effect. i'd like to know.

there were about five other things i'd wanted to blog about, but i'm too tired. even if i'm not rested tomorrow, i'll feel better asleep than i will awake at this point. so let's just hope i remember what i was going to say when i next get on a computer.

night!

so sad

i'm hungry right now. for ravioli. maybe with some pepperoni and sauce. cheese on top of it all. baked. mmmm.

but that's processed.

this is actually the first time i've had this problem at home. at school, i'll walk by a tray of little cookies with pastel sugar swirling on top, and i'll want them badly. or the secretaries will have a computer problem, and i'll come to fix it only to be accosted by a sneaky box of thin mints. or my boss will come in with an extra mcdonald's breakfast burrito and ask who wants it. i want it very much. or someone will ask if i need anything from downstairs, because when any of us go down, we offer to bring something back for the others. i think of the chips, cookies, candies, and all the other things that just may be sitting down there. and i'll shake my head and say i'm fine, but i really do want something from downstairs. any something will do.

but at home, there really isn't much processed food left out of the box. all my canned soups are there, my nutrigrain bars and granola, my soup starters, my last cube of ramen, my boxed dinner, my flavored rices, my pasta. it's all in the box, taped up and labeled EASTER.

there wasn't much to do about my frozen pie shells, or my frozen ravioli. you can't put frozen stuff in a box at the bottom of your pantry. so now i have this intense desire for the frozen ravioli that i know is in the back of my freezer just behind the peas and carrots. i can actually see it in my mind. the bag, the way they look when frozen, the way they look when heated up on a plate. even the smell is dancing in my mind.

sigh.

...

apparently, i am wearing a fruity shirt. or something.

in class today, my classmate for whom i hold no fondness entered the room and sat down, staring at my shirt. this classmate then commented that my shirt and jacket combination was very interesting.

i was wearing a light and dark pink shirt, and the reversible jacket that vaguely implies new mexico. unsure of what exactly was interesting about it, but not in the mood to humor this classmate, i somewhat curtly acknowledged the comment with a thank you.

he continued: "it's very vernal."

i stared. how a pink shirt is vernal, i have no idea. i only wore the damn thing because it was clean and had no holes in it. i certainly wasn't wearing pink for springtime.

another classmate joined the commentary on my shirt: "there's no green at all, though. how can it be vernal?"

at this point, when my steadily cooling stare had been split between the two of them, the first classmate completed his thought: "it reminds me of ornamental plums."

right. plums. very vernal. i'm not sure how appropriate it is to comment on a woman's shirt via ornamental plums. i am sure, however, that nothing was meant by it. most people reference ornamental plums by the flowers, anyway.

i think we should both be glad the shirt wasn't orange, reminding him of cling peaches or cantelopes. intentional or not, there are limits to the comments i'll take in silence.

ah well. note to self: try not to wear this shirt or the blue one that matches it on a MWF.