Oh, the Poor Little Dumb-Asses

If you turned in a paper with grammar so bad that the instructor told you he gave up before even starting to circle mistakes, and that he was referring you to the UWC for the help you needed, how would you respond? Would you:

• A) Go to the University Writing Center and beg for help


• B) Cry (that's always an option)


• C) Look over your paper to see if you can catch anything


• or D) Turn in another draft just as bad as the one before it

Dumb-asses everywhere are choosing D. D is for Dumb-ass, remember?

But seriously, this kid must have had someone else write his application, or he'd never have gotten into this university. By Con-U standards, this guy would not be able to pass enough muster to get into the basic writing course (that's remedial writing for those of you who are unfamiliar with political correctness). I'm serious. Director J would have had to flunk this kid out before the first assignment got turned in.

I include for you, below, the entire comment and the entire error log I rang up. 218 error points. The only draft I've seen that was worse than this one was so bad I couldn't read it aloud to Pandora. That one was written by an education major, scarily enough, and was about TAAS testing, I believe. It's a bit hard to tell.

I'd put the actual draft up, but I think that's illegal. This might also be illegal, and if it is, and someone out there knows that, tell me and I'll take it down.

Meeting Criteria
Overall, this is not an adequate draft. You meet few of the criteria, and those aren't met well at all. Below, I've gone into more detail about how you have failed to meet the criteria and why you failed this assignment.

Rather than describe a problem, you have described a company, which is irrelevant to the assignment. When you do get around to a problem, you list two of them. There can only be one problem for this draft, or you will not be able to pose solutions to it. Your draft will be all over the place, like this one is.

You have one solution for each problem, and your solutions are vague. You say that water will be good for variety, that it will be cast aside if it's too expensive, and that it's the best solution. This isn't at all specific and detailed. Likewise, you talk about there not being enough truck drivers, and the solution is to "keep the company one or two drivers short." How can this possibly solve that problem?

The recommendation you offer is that the solutions you've proposed are the best ones. This is not at all what we wanted. Which of your solutions is the best way to go? You have not recommended one of them.

You have only one source. Saying that "research shows" something does not count as a source.

Grammar. Below, I have tagged some of your grammar errors, separated by paragraph. Your error weight is 218. This can be fixed very simply: Paste your work into a word processing program (like WORD), and change everything that gets underlined in red. At least half of these errors are simple spelling mistakes that don't require more than a swapped letter or two. Be responsible. Proofread your work.

Number of words in this draft: 612
-------------
First Paragraph:
" distrabution" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" who and what the company does" The company does someone?

" Arctic Glacier has been around for several years, the company bought out host ice ten years ago making it?s size significantly larger." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" host ice " Capital letter [weight=3]

" it?s size" Its Error [weight=5]

" An Ice company" Capital letter [weight=3]

" delevers" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" The process may seem simple[,] but many problems may occure. " [1301--ch. 6] Comma, compound sentence [weight=4]

" occure" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

Second Paragraph:

" occure" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" faced with downward sells [sales?]" Editing Errors [weight=6]

" products them selves [themselves]" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" For example, Ice" Capital letter [weight=3]

" it cost[s] the company about fifeteen cents to make it" Verb Tense Shift [weight=5]

" For example, Ice is made by reverse osmosis, it cost the company about fifeteen cents to make it, they then turn around and sell it for about sixty cents." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6] [1301--ch. 5] Run-On or Fused Sentence [weight=6]

" It is clear that ice is profitable, the problem occures when demand for ice is low. " [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" occures" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" The solution to this problem has been stated before, the company should envest in making different products such as bottle water." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" envest " [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" the project will [be] scraped" Verb Form, incorrect [weight=7]

" scraped" [you mean "scrapped"] [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" feasable" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" Most water company use " Editing Errors [weight=6]

" Most water company use reverse osmosis to make their water and Arctic Glacier has the capability to make this product." [1301--ch. 6] Comma, compound sentence [weight=4]

Paragraph Three:

" delevering " [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" maoney" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" vary costly" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" Filling up a truck is vary costly but with all the money that the company makes this is not a large problem." [1301--ch. 6] Comma, compound sentence [weight=4]

" occures" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" drive the drucks." [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" when you fully staffed." Verb Form, incorrect [weight=7] You [weight=2]

" commision" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" commision" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" commision sells [sales?????]" [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" Their commision sells can be small if weather is bad, there are not enough stores for all the drivers. " [1301--ch. 5] Run-On or Fused Sentence [weight=6] [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

" they would get all split most of the commision," [what?!?!?] Editing Errors [weight=6] [1301--ch. 8]Spelling Errors [weight=5]

" if the [worker] (singular) is happier at [their] (plural) job they tend to work harder" [1301--ch. 10]Pronoun Agreement [weight=5]

Paragraph Four:

" Arctic Glacier Ice Companies most common problems." [1301--ch. 9]Apostrophes [weight=5]

" companies problems " [1301--ch. 9]Apostrophes [weight=5]

" The problems given are some that are debated about in the company, with a feasible solution any work related problem can be solved." [1301--ch. 5] Comma Splice [weight=6]

The End.

Wow. As the Crocodile Hunter says: Isn't she a beauty?

I've stopped grading for the night, because my next comment won't be so nice. I won't risk it.

End.