mini update

or something similar, anyway.

today was apparently the 'last day' for summer session one. how do i know? simple. doughnuts. i encountered no fewer than three boxes of doughnuts today while at work. everyone has brought these things (or a mini-muffins & doughnuts combo) for their students, and there are more leftovers than the half-empty english deptartment can account for.

one lady brought a whole box of krispy kremes for our IT staff because we helped her out with a camera issue. we are a team of three at the moment, and a team of three people cannot healthily consume a dozen doughnuts. there are confections everywhere. both lounges are overflowing with deep-fried, sugar-glazed pieces of heaven on earth.

this is, mind you, only recounting tales of boxes with doughnuts still inside. the gutted boxes stacked on trash cans are not being included in the count, because who counts empty doughnut boxes when there are live doughnuts on the tables? hmm? not me.

so, i ran out the door this morning without eating breakfast or packing a lunch. i figured, hell, there's that sandwich i left in the fridge yesterday, and i can have that for breakfast. i'll be out of the building by lunch, so there's no need. yes?

and i arrived at the building to find this steady stream of sugar. so for breakfast, i ate a doughnut. no big deal. and then near lunchtime, right as i was leaving, the lady with the over-developed sense of obligation [i'm not complaining, mind, just saying] appeared with the box of fresh krispy kremes. by fresh, i mean warm and squishy and the glaze hasn't even set yet. these were fresh. they had not been waiting around for the opportune moment. they were newborn baby doughnuts.

so i had a doughnut for lunch. and a piece of fruit that i'd apparently left in the fridge. the brown paper bag was exactly where i'd left it, but the sandwich i remember abandoning had transformed itself into a nectarine. i really didn't mind, though this means i ate the sandwich and don't remember doing it, and that my memory of eating the nectarine is faulty. at some later point, i may need to investigate the possibility that an external force is altering my perceptions of the world... or at least, that my brain is shorting out from time to time.

but at long last, i arrived back home, and drank a nice cool glass of water, because after a long walk to the car and a long drive through the mazes of construction, cool water is very nice. and when i'd finished the water, i settled back on the futon to rest and maybe get rid of the nagging pressure in my head.

about an hour later, i got up, wet a rag, drank some more water, and tried to ignore the nagging pressure in my head. then i gave it up for a lost cause, took some ibuprofin, and settled in to wait for it to kick in. ugh.

i don't think it was the doughnuts. i've not gotten headaches before from not eating, so it isn't that i didn't eat anything substantial for lunch or breakfast. but whatever it was, i spent an utterly unproductive afternoon on my futon throwing mental curses at the guys cutting the grass, the dogs barking below, the kids playing some louder-than-necessary game in the parking lot, and all that.

and while the headache went away by around seven or so, it is now back. back to the extent that i had a strange dream about something pulling on my hair for some reason that made sense at the time but is now too fuzzy to articulate.... and so i'm awake, blogging, waiting for the additional ibuprofin to begin its work, etc.

yikes. it's rare for a headache to actually wake me up. not so rare for them to keep me up, but that's not what this is. i was very definitely asleep. it was enjoyable until that little pink thing started tugging my hair.

ah well. there it is. the update. there were doughnuts, and probably still are unless more people showed up in the afternoon. there was a headache, and is again until the medicine works. and there was sleep, and will be again once i log off wet the rag again and attempt to find my dreams. i'll pop that pink thing something good for yanking my hair.

love and peace

ugh

so i was at ihop today with KM, and blogs were mentioned. i've been feeling like not blogging lately, because there really hasn't been anything worth blogging about. work is work, and really not wise to blog about anyway except in the vaguest of terms. it hasn't been even so exciting as to merit that.

there's the wedding, but that's all kinds of personal stories and stuff that various folks probably don't want out on the internet as it were. so there's nothing to say aside from the fact that i had a blast until the very end when i began to hate people (not specific ones, just people in general... there's a limit to my crowd tolerance). i hated people enough to call in to work and announce my misanthropy as the reason for not showing up. it was just better for everyone that way.

so while eating pancakes and chicken fried steak (while i like both, and was glad to have both, i've never understood how both belong together in a single meal), i said that i should probably blog when i got home, but that i probably wouldn't.

i didn't. i've been home since 2:30-ish. it's a little after 8. see? i really didn't intend to blog today. there was nothing to blog about.

oh, how the tables have turned!

so last night, at almost exactly 11, i experienced the first warning twinges of the uti or doom. i'm experienced enough to know what those twinges mean, and i self-medicated with a tall glass of cranberry juice followed by an equally tall glass of water. followed by another tall glass of water. in fact, i have this giant bottle designed to hold all the water i'd need for a whole day. over the course of the night i emptied the damn thing from full. needless to say, i was up all night.

the plan was such: if things weren't happy in the morning, i was calling in, and then heading out to the walk in clinic. things were happy. i was stupid. things were so blissfully happy in fact, that i amended the plan to include the day. if by around 5 or so things were still cool, then the twinge had been timely enough to devert the uti of doom. such has been known to happen. there's a reason i keep a pantry stocked with 6-7 bottles of cranberry juice.

so, at ihop, all was well. happy. blissful. there were pancakes, after all, and boysenberry syrup. it doesn't get much better, unless you include fried eggs, which i did. i've got half portions of stuff for dinner, too. so all really was quite well.

since i wouldn't be blogging without something happening, it's pretty obvious that things went downhill from there. oh, things were still cool by about 7, when the walk in clinic closes for the night. but from about 7:15 on, things have been all but cool. i've never experienced anything like it. don't get me wrong, i've experienced this, every bit as badly as i'm experiencing it now. but the twinge disappearing and then skipping straight to the agony stage... that's new.

today, i've consumed a bottle of cranberry juice, two of my big jugs o' daily water, a glass of water at ihop, and about three glasses of water while in the bathroom. i hate water right now. i want no more of it. i think i'll be sick if i look at another glass of water. and yet, things are less agonizing when there's something to do in there in addition to clenching fists and cussing. so more water it is.

and all night, too. until about 7 when i stop pretending to sleep. then it's shower, dress, and pace until the clinic opens up at 9. i'll be the one standing by the doors when someone comes to unlock them for the day. first in line, that's my name.

the really sucky part is this:

i don't wear tight pants. i don't take baths. i drink plenty of water. and cranberry juice every night before bed and most mornings. i wipe from front to back, and also apologize for offering what might be too much information there. i don't have sex, so i really can't pee right afterwards. i don't do any of the fun stuff that leads to this, and i do all the things that are supposed to stop this. and still, the uti of doom descends upon me.

what the fuck is that?

no really. what the fuck is that?

argh.

sort of updating, again

so i'm doing the wedding thing in about a week. and for the past week or so i've been doing this weird thing at night. i have never had the 'oh my god, i'm naked at school' types of dreams. those normal dreams where for some reason, you're naked in public, or sleep through your final exams, or whatever. those things just never happen in my dreams.

this last week though, i've had some dreams that were nearly like that. the flight to cement city isn't non stop. so i've had dreams where i get stranded in the airport between legs of the flight and miss part two. i've had dreams where the security folks wouldn't let me on the plane, because the fabric of the bridesmaid dress is biodegradable. (first, the fabric on this thing will outlive me by several generations, so the word doesn't apply here. second, i highly doubt the tsa folks care how quickly my dress turns into fertilizer. third, wtf?) i've had dreams where they let me on the plane, but held the dress for questioning. i've had dreams where the plane lands in the wrong city, and i find out that i have no change and my cell phone has been left at home. i've even had dreams where i 'wake up' on the plane, mentally go through my packing list, and realize that the dress never made it into the luggage. i've had dreams where i wake up the afternoon of my flight, go to the airport, and realize that the flight is a morning flight.

many, many dreams. all of them involve either my not making it to the wedding, or my arrival sans dress. i've only had one dream where the shoes were somehow involved. i'm not terribly into the black cat under a ladder stepping on a crack while looking into a broken mirror type of thing, but the dreams are usually two or three a night. i wake up from one only to fall into another. truly weird stuff. you'd think maybe this would make a little more sense if i was getting married, but i'm just walking into a room, standing there for a while gazing adoringly at the girl who *is* getting married, and then trying desperately not to dance with anyone for the rest of the day.


in other news, my hair is growing out. has been for a while. i figure summer's the best time for that. it doesn't matter what kind of horrid, shaggy mess it grows into so long as it's long enough to behave in the fall when i teach. right? unfortunately, it's also vaguely irritating as it grows out. i've had my hair short for so long i've forgotten how to towel dry longer hair. rubbing the towel around furiously just isn't working anymore, and when i comb it there are actual tangles. i haven't had a tangle in so long i'd forgotten all about them. it will be pointless to have long hair if it's all snaggly and split.

and you know what? summer would also be the perfect time to get the hair shaved off completely. lots of growing room so i can look normal again in the fall if it doesn't work out. and no tanlges. no worries about how one is supposed to dry longer hair. no hair worries, period, in fact. just sun block every morning to prevent red head and skin cancer. i won't get my hair shaved before leaving for the wedding, certainly. but there's a chance (not high, not probable, but a palpable chance) that i'll come back with no hair. a toss up, really.

the plan had been to grow it out, long enough to donate, then get the head shaved all at once. after i'd had time to play with and then ignore the long hair. every time i grow it out i say i'll do something with it, but i end up tying it into a low ponytail or braid every day until i chop it off again. so i know full well what will eventually happen to my poor neglected hair. i'll play around with it for about two weeks, and then leave it down for a day or two. then it'll be all ponytails and braids for the rest of its life with me.

the thought of abandoning the plan for a buzz cut is more tempting as the weather gets warmer and the mystery that is towel-drying hair becomes more mysterious. and the tangles. oh, i hate them. but i like the bangs. i really do. i may opt for a funky cut that lets me keep the bangs. maybe long enough to tuck behind the ears. possibly one of those cuts that looks normal when the hair is down, but when pulled back, you can see that it's all shaved underneath? i don't know. but while i sometimes like the feeling of all this hair, i sometimes very much miss the soft and fuzzy short short. it's not even all that long now. maybe a whole five inches. and that's just... an irritating length.

i'd open the issue to others for a vote or something, but i know how my coworkers and parental unit feel, and how KM feels. Ems doesn't seem to care, but her one vote is outnumbered in all ways by the others. hmm. summer really would be the best time. for growing out or shaving.


and that's about all for the moment. it's late and i'm tired. summer is also a good time to get back on a normal-person sleep schedule.

love and peace