When Comfort Food Runs and Hides...

I got home tonight and wanted Mac and Cheese. With a passion. It was unlike anything I've felt for a while when it comes to food. I wanted it as much as I wanted Cream of Wheat (which I normally can't stand) several periods back. So I reached back into the bowels of my cabinets (yes, they *are* that deep), and pulled out a box of macaroni with the cheese sauce in the pouch, because that's the best kind, in my world. For kicks and giggles, I check the expiration date.

[facefall]

11/2005. Well, shit, I think. Heaving a sigh, I wonder just how bad cheese sauce can go in two months. I mean, it's so processed that there isn't anything organic left for the mold to eat, you know? I cut open the packet and WOW. I never knew cheese sauce could do that. It was like clear liquid oozing around desiccated chunks of talc. It smelled alright, but anything saucy that separates like that should be avoided. Fine. I save the pasta (that just *can't* go bad, right?) and reach into the cabinet for the dry stuff. Yep. Two packages. Having learned from the previous package, I check the dates.

[facepalm]

15 March 2005. Almost a whole year. But it's powder. How can powder go bad? It's kept cool and dry, and it's sealed. There's no way the nasties can get in there. I open one of the packets to see. It looks fine. I sniff. It smells fine. I stir it about with a finger. Feels alright. But really. If something has anything at all to do with milk, and is almost a year out of code, maybe the smart thing to do is pass it up. So, I save the noodles from both boxes, and toss the cheese sauce powder.

By now, I'm actually very hungry, and only mac and cheese will do. I have an abundance of suitable pasta, but no cheese sauce. Yet wait! There's always actual cheddar cheese. And there's always "cream of." So, after much stirring and mixing and tasting, and a conscious effort to ignore whatever little numbers may or may not have been printed on the bottom of the can, I devoured my mac and cheese. The difficulty I had in getting to this point was maybe a sign that I shouldn't be eating it, but I haven't made the stuff in ... nearly a year, as the expiration dates demonstrated.

Ah well. That's life. I'm pretty sure the cream of was fine, by the way. I bought those cans in the middle of last semester, and they last forever. All the same, I'm not looking. Now that I've eaten it, I don't want to know.

Love and Peace

Addendum

When I am wearing a blazer and carrying a briefcase, it is proper to assume that I am working on computers, and will be happy to help you with that problem you harassed me about yesterday. It is, after all, my sole purpose in this building to cater to your every computer need. I don't *teach* or anything.

Love and Peace.

What, You Hadn't Heard?

Even though I'm not on shift, it is my responsibility to take care of a problem that has been assigned to a co-worker. And when a problem is e-mailed in, it is my responsibility to stop all work on hours-long projects to take care of this new task.

When you see me working in the hallway, fixing computers, you can safely assume that I'm completely briefed on the problem you've not told anyone about. You can also assume, when I tell you to e-mail your problem to the system, that I've been checking the mail system every minute to see if your special problem has been added.

Yes, please do come back to my workspace within the minute to ask about your problem again. I've, of course, managed to sprint back to the office and now know all about the problem you *just* sent in. Oh, and please feel invited to be rude and accusatory when dealing with me. It's my job to take your crap.

And now you know.

Love and Peace.

How, Then, is One *Supposed* to Sleep?

Because, to be honest, I haven't figured it out. I have always been most comfortable on my stomach with my arms crossed over my chest, hands tucked into neck. But I often end up on my side in a semi-fetal position, so that must be pretty comfy too. Only when I am sick have I been able to fall asleep on my back, though I hear this is how one should sleep to keep the spine all aligned. Well, I'm in a quandry. And I'm going to rant/whine about it, since I'm contemplating sleep right now, as soon as the Tylennol kicks in.

I've tried the on-the-back thing for over a week now, and it *still* feels like I pulled my shoulder in my sleep. I couldn't have pulled it while awake; I'd have noticed that. And it isn't general achy "slept wrong" hurting either. I have sharp, shooting pain when I try to do the most basic things, as though I had pulled my shoulder. So I consciously try to "sleep better," but I haven't been able to find that perfect position. My whole arm aches when I try to sleep on my back, so just why is that the "right" position? How is right when you can't get to sleep?

People look at you funny when you just out and rotate your shoulder all of a sudden, but when you have to move the dang thing all day just to keep it from stiffening up... To be honest, I wish it were my wrist again. You just slap a brace on it and go about your business. The wrist's fine, just so you know. Not a problem there. When the wrist first acted up, I thought I'd been sleeping wrong. Changed my ways. Wore a brace. Put up with it for months. Well, I'm giving up on the connection between shoulder and sleeping habits. If sleeping on my back were helping, I'd keep on with it, but there's no sense in laying awake at night if it isn't doing anything.

And there's my gripe. What a wonderful re-entry to my blog. Since I am still awake (thank the shoulder), the brief update goes a little something like: thesis is going well, cat is trashing apartment, lesson plans are frustrating, the computer job is still much fun, and the film class rocks. Oh yeah. And I found a fellow anime-lover up in the Eng Dept, and we are engaged in a movie swap. Always on the lookout for 30-50 minute "workout" tapes to reward myself for the Gazelle.

And I'm off for the ... morning. Good night.

End.

Back, but Busy

I've returned from the land of perpetually warm winters. Charlotte did well in my absence, and is still quite affectionate. I give it another week before she starts ignoring me again.

As for the exciting, restful, productive and relaxing break, well. Just the bare bones, because it's late. My grandfather died, my grandmother (who happens to not remember much) came to live with us, and I rewrote what I already had of the thesis. It's much, much better, but not any nearer completion. On the light side, I have a plethora of creative ideas spawned by the living arrangements, mostly the sneaking around late at night for water and the continual need to reassure folks that their toothbrush is exactly where they left it. The 80 degree indoor weather during the first portion of my stay (in grandmother's house--she's on blood thinners) was another source of inspiration, along with the serial foot-coverer who stalked the hallways late at night making sure we were all warm enough (that would be grandmother).

All in all, it was quite honestly the least restful vacation I've had, though as things started to settle toward the end, there was marked improvement.

I've taught my classes (tweaking a lesson plan in the background as I type), and have come to the stunning conclusion that I prefer the second half of freshman English. It's already better than the first.

Also, after a meeting of minds with my thesis director, we've decided it will be best to move graduation to the summer. So I will get to attend my brother's graduation after all, and won't die trying to get thesis finished, revised, and defended by March. Enough people have told me by now that my health is important, and seeing my grandmother finally made it click. While I doubt stress during my 20s will directly lead to Alzheimer's and weakness in my 80s, I do recognize that there's something to be said for regulated blood pressure and retention of hair.

And that's all I've got the time for right now. I'll be around.

End.