hmm
i'm not sure why, but somehow i'm more and more stressed about everything of late. not just class, though that's getting into rough areas. not just silly crises at work. not just the woeful lack of nutritous and tasty food in my fridge. not just any of a number of things.
for some reason, everything seems to be boiling over at once. we had this new school holiday called fall break last friday. what a joke. i had two major assignments due that day, and a meeting to attend. with the assignments turned in, i should be able to breathe for a while, buy more fruit-that-is-not-of-the-apple-species, maybe even get ahead in my courses. again, joke.
instead, everything is just as it was before, only there are new looming assignments. how in the world is this grad school thing a healthy endeavor? i just don't understand. these days, i'm doing all kinds of things to get the stress out of my life. or at least held at bay while i climb the bedsheet-ladder out the back window of graduation.
i have switched my bible-reading to more ... upbeat areas, instead of my favorite woe-ridden prophets. i meditate when i get home to dispell what bad vibes follow me from campus. i don't even turn on this stress-birthed computer except to write assignments and check mail in the morning, which i only do to avoid a nasty surprise emergency on entering the building. i don't even keep chocolate and sweet breads in the apt, so there isn't any curling up with a bag of twix on a bad day. though, let me tell you, twix solves a lot of problems in the short term.
in fact, when i'm particularly upset, i shower, and imagine all that upset getting sucked down the drain with the grime of our dusty environment. i found that cd that made things a wee bit better back when i was taking a full load of summer courses and dealing with mono at the same time. i play it all the time. i walk probably 5 days a week, and more of course from car to building etc. i take stairs. i limit the time i spend working on the class i teach so that it doesn't suck up all my time, though i've got two or three students with grade/attendance/attitude issues that are getting stickier every week. i even picked up a book for fun reading once, though after the second chapter i had to abandon it in favor or all my coursework. i knit still, and only really simple stuff that doesn't involve purls, which hurt my wrist in large numbers.
what am i doing wrong here? i'm more stressed than ever, it seems, and i'm doing all the right things. i cut my blog reading down to a bare minimum, and even still only check them rarely. i ditched several webcomics from my lineup, and no longer read consumerist, because while good info, the constant complaining about the world and economy was getting me down.
maybe i should start going to early services instead of late ones. i don't sleep in anymore these days, so if i shifted that up, it would free another hour or so on my sundays.... hm.
well, i suppose i'll figure it out. in the meantime, i have only just finished assignment one for tomorrow, and it is now time for assignment two. given the amount of time the translations take me, i'll be up all night. these days, after the midnight mark, it's not a decision of how much longer i'll work; it's a decision of whether i'll go to bed immediately or stay awake until the following evening. i can't seem to do small/late nights. i'll be pushing it at midnight.
love, peace, and stress it seems.
PS: the kids love the princess bride. that's the current ray of hope there. all is not lost if there is still that much taste left in the world.
for some reason, everything seems to be boiling over at once. we had this new school holiday called fall break last friday. what a joke. i had two major assignments due that day, and a meeting to attend. with the assignments turned in, i should be able to breathe for a while, buy more fruit-that-is-not-of-the-apple-species, maybe even get ahead in my courses. again, joke.
instead, everything is just as it was before, only there are new looming assignments. how in the world is this grad school thing a healthy endeavor? i just don't understand. these days, i'm doing all kinds of things to get the stress out of my life. or at least held at bay while i climb the bedsheet-ladder out the back window of graduation.
i have switched my bible-reading to more ... upbeat areas, instead of my favorite woe-ridden prophets. i meditate when i get home to dispell what bad vibes follow me from campus. i don't even turn on this stress-birthed computer except to write assignments and check mail in the morning, which i only do to avoid a nasty surprise emergency on entering the building. i don't even keep chocolate and sweet breads in the apt, so there isn't any curling up with a bag of twix on a bad day. though, let me tell you, twix solves a lot of problems in the short term.
in fact, when i'm particularly upset, i shower, and imagine all that upset getting sucked down the drain with the grime of our dusty environment. i found that cd that made things a wee bit better back when i was taking a full load of summer courses and dealing with mono at the same time. i play it all the time. i walk probably 5 days a week, and more of course from car to building etc. i take stairs. i limit the time i spend working on the class i teach so that it doesn't suck up all my time, though i've got two or three students with grade/attendance/attitude issues that are getting stickier every week. i even picked up a book for fun reading once, though after the second chapter i had to abandon it in favor or all my coursework. i knit still, and only really simple stuff that doesn't involve purls, which hurt my wrist in large numbers.
what am i doing wrong here? i'm more stressed than ever, it seems, and i'm doing all the right things. i cut my blog reading down to a bare minimum, and even still only check them rarely. i ditched several webcomics from my lineup, and no longer read consumerist, because while good info, the constant complaining about the world and economy was getting me down.
maybe i should start going to early services instead of late ones. i don't sleep in anymore these days, so if i shifted that up, it would free another hour or so on my sundays.... hm.
well, i suppose i'll figure it out. in the meantime, i have only just finished assignment one for tomorrow, and it is now time for assignment two. given the amount of time the translations take me, i'll be up all night. these days, after the midnight mark, it's not a decision of how much longer i'll work; it's a decision of whether i'll go to bed immediately or stay awake until the following evening. i can't seem to do small/late nights. i'll be pushing it at midnight.
love, peace, and stress it seems.
PS: the kids love the princess bride. that's the current ray of hope there. all is not lost if there is still that much taste left in the world.
posted by Rehkmira @ 21:20
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