thoughts on improvement

a short while back, i had a conversation with someone who is sadly a fellow creative writer here. this conversation opened my eyes. see, this cw had interrupted our class to tell the professor that s/he didn't feel s/he should be required to know all this MLA stuff, that if the assignments called for it, the professor should teach it to us, and that in fact, everything in the class was completely useless for his/her purposes in life. as a cw person, s/he shouldn't have to ever write a scholarly article anyway.

first, let me say that i would never consider saying such things to a professor, let alone in class. because it's professional suicide for one, and because s/he is dead wrong for two. i mean, i might think MLA is a nit-picky, obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive system for citations, but it serves its function, and as a part of the scholarly community, i need to abide by it. period. don't waste your breath complaining.

then came all this bitching and moaning about the entire way the program is set up. none of the literature seminars are necessary or helpful, and cw people should be exempted from them. in fact, the writing of scholarly papers 'sucks his/her soul out.' that's a steep statement, there.

and the title of this blog entry starts to enter the equation at this point. i mean, the degree is the way it is. this is what the place expects, and those expectations were clearly explained at the very beginning. it isn't as though this were sprung on him/her and s/he hadn't known what to expect.

it reminded me of someone, in fact. i have often told people that i don't do theory. i don't, really. i hate it. it is stupid and pointless when taken to the extremes that some scholars do. i can write with it if i need to, but i'd prefer to discuss the craft involved in the piece i'm writing about. if it's got to be theory, i try to take it out of the critical theory realm and drag it into popular culture or something more palatable.

the thing is, if this cw person is so miserable here, s/he needs to go elsewhere. this is not an MFA program. it's an MA or PhD program. the emphasis is on scholarship. it is assumed that students will do research and write about literature. in the case of cw people, students will also write literature themselves. it isn't about wanting people to leave if they don't fit in. it's about where s/he will be happier. and it doesn't seem to be here.

so in the end, this little in-class incident only somewhat reminded me of some of the things i've said. after all, at the very first, i was disappointed in the lack of creative writing i'd be allowed to do. they've since doubled the workshop number, so i don't see what his/her problem is. but the real thing that made a difference with me, and i tried to tell him/her this, was that i got interested in something.

i actually really like the old english, no matter how i complain about it. i love the literature. i'm enjoying my research and readings. because it's cool, yes, but also because i can apply those cool craft bits from the OE to my own writing. i hated the nabokov class and every single paper i wrote in there, but the books were fascinating. the neat-o narrative strategies were very interesting to observe and perhaps imitate for a mental exercise one day. classes on religions, authors or genres--anything really--can apply to my writing. at the very least, i can take musty subjects and freshen them up by adding a dose of popular culture studies to them.

find something to enjoy, i told him/her after class. find something that interests you, that you can really dig into. there's something out there that will make the scholarship fun.

sadly, his/her response was that s/he was only interested in his/her own writing. not even other people's writing. just his/her own, the 'stuff i write.' i am, quite simply, ashamed to call this person a creative writer. the rest of us are not like this. anyone who is going to be a writer needs first to be a voracious reader. reading one's own work does not improve that work. there must be outside sources of nurishment. the beligerant qualities of his/her answer to my tip tells me that it's unlikely i'll be required to refer to him/her as a fellow creative writer for long. i have no further comment on this that is bloggable.

i'm not going to make further attempts to widen his/her world view. i've said my piece, and i get a strong feeling that further interaction will only draw me down without the benefit of improving on his/her attitude. hopefully, i can learn something from the encounter myself, and just avoid his/her negativity in the future.

it's been a long day. i'm going home.

love and peace.