Little Old Ladies and the Rhinestone Cowgirl of Doom
I've been guilted into this.
There is a very slender chance that I will be seeing my family over Spring Break. There is a similar chance of seeing them over Easter. I'm afraid there is just too much work to be accomplished to take the time off. Instead, E and I plan to spend two of those vacation days driving to New Mexico. We will be tourists for two days, without a single school thought in our heads. We will, however, be reading for classes during the night. "Constant Vigilance" and all that. Don't want projects sneaking up while we're having fun.
This afternoon, on the way back from class, I actually stopped at the grocery store. It was a miracle in itself, as I had been living off of oatmeal, yogurt, and tortilla chips for a day or two. Actually, I had some pasta and canned goods, but I really needed food that was appetizing. I got some. Lots, actually, and most of it very good for me. There was a little old lady in the store who really liked Morningstar Breakfast Links. She was quite a bit shorter than I am, and the packages were on the top shelf. She asked me to get her three more packages of the stuff, and I complied with a very warm smile and a "have a nice day" sort of phrase. It's the sort of thing that mothers everywhere hope their children do regularly. Honestly, though, this woman should not have been eating those fake sausage links. I've tried them; they're nasty.
While in the grocery store, I decided it was time to add beef to the list of meats I will not be eating any longer. I had planned to make beans with ham in a week or two, but I bought a ring of Hillshire Farm turkey sausage instead. I'll be making turkey chili soon, to see if it will work out. As of now, I'm down to chicken, turkey, and seafood. Next time I go to the store, I am going to get a pound of ground turkey for the Hamburger Helper I have sitting in the back of my cupboard. Sorry for all you folks at home. I'm planning to be fairly strict here, so I might be a poor dinner companion when I finally do make it home.
You are perhaps wondering about the Rhinestone Cowgirl of Doom. She was a recent addition to my day. Very tall, fakely (or unhealthily) tanned, with bleached out, stringy hair shoved under an "authentic" cowboy hat (complete with leopard print ribbon) and legs poured into too-tight faded Wranglers topped with button-down countrified blouse, this mythical creature stepped up to a truck much taller and dirtier than herself, and drove away in true style, country musak blaring and exhaust pipe spewing illegal amounts of smoke. I thought I'd add her in here, to show that they do exist. Wish I'd had my camera. Belongs in the Bestiary along with Elvis impersonators, waitresses on skates, and people who walk their cats.
I met with the Bastard today to discuss a poem I've got to write a paper on. We sat in his office, around a table stacked with books he's probably read, and talked about drunken cows and incompetent farmers. I once again want to thank Doc for providing me with the ammunition to not appear stupid in front of Professor B, and to inform him that I would have made him proud with my extensive knowledge of how everything could be taken back to the Garden of Eden and "the plug." Many folks will know that reference. Remember the plug. It's important. It's where babies come from.
I then proceeded to attend class, fall asleep with my eyes open, and only snap to it by means of a well-placed elbow jab from R when class was over. Don't ask me for an overview. All I know is that I was on a hill somewhere, surrounded by flying cows that were drooling scumble, while watching evil wizards write in their diaries. I do remember one well placed phrase from the mouth of B. He said that if someone were taping the class, they would play the tape back and hear two voices. One was smooth, confident, speaking beautifully and uttering meaningful words of wisdom and wonder. That was him, reading the poems. The other was stammering, confused, frustrated, and wavering. That was him, trying to get us to understand the poems. It's about as close to self-deprecation as he'll ever get. He practically flat-out praised himself for his marvelous reading voice, while implying that we miserable peons couldn't grasp the poetry. As a miserable peon myself, I guess I have to agree with him. That's what miserable peons do.
I botched the good doctor's scarf after my meeting with B. Had to start over when the thread tangled and knotted in such a way that I spent half an hour before admitting defeat. At least I hadn't gotten more than a few rows into it. I've had the most miserable luck with this project. I've started over three times because I didn't like the number of stitches (it's hard to tell until you've gone a ways how many stitches equal the width you're after), and I've unraveled it a fourth time because I started working at it when I was uber-stressed and the thing got all tight and lumpy. It's not the kind of yarn you can work over again all that many times. I need to just sit down and get this project off my lap, since it seems to carry some sort of bad vibe. I swear the thing is jinxed. We'll see what it's like when it's finished (if it ever gets that far). I have the feeling that completion will relieve it of this frustration factor.
Well, that's all for now. I've still got half a book to read, and an article, and a paper for tomorrow, although I don't think I'll do the paper. We have to do 5 out of 6, and I haven't missed one yet. Take care all, and hopefully I'll be back to blog more regularly.
End.
There is a very slender chance that I will be seeing my family over Spring Break. There is a similar chance of seeing them over Easter. I'm afraid there is just too much work to be accomplished to take the time off. Instead, E and I plan to spend two of those vacation days driving to New Mexico. We will be tourists for two days, without a single school thought in our heads. We will, however, be reading for classes during the night. "Constant Vigilance" and all that. Don't want projects sneaking up while we're having fun.
This afternoon, on the way back from class, I actually stopped at the grocery store. It was a miracle in itself, as I had been living off of oatmeal, yogurt, and tortilla chips for a day or two. Actually, I had some pasta and canned goods, but I really needed food that was appetizing. I got some. Lots, actually, and most of it very good for me. There was a little old lady in the store who really liked Morningstar Breakfast Links. She was quite a bit shorter than I am, and the packages were on the top shelf. She asked me to get her three more packages of the stuff, and I complied with a very warm smile and a "have a nice day" sort of phrase. It's the sort of thing that mothers everywhere hope their children do regularly. Honestly, though, this woman should not have been eating those fake sausage links. I've tried them; they're nasty.
While in the grocery store, I decided it was time to add beef to the list of meats I will not be eating any longer. I had planned to make beans with ham in a week or two, but I bought a ring of Hillshire Farm turkey sausage instead. I'll be making turkey chili soon, to see if it will work out. As of now, I'm down to chicken, turkey, and seafood. Next time I go to the store, I am going to get a pound of ground turkey for the Hamburger Helper I have sitting in the back of my cupboard. Sorry for all you folks at home. I'm planning to be fairly strict here, so I might be a poor dinner companion when I finally do make it home.
You are perhaps wondering about the Rhinestone Cowgirl of Doom. She was a recent addition to my day. Very tall, fakely (or unhealthily) tanned, with bleached out, stringy hair shoved under an "authentic" cowboy hat (complete with leopard print ribbon) and legs poured into too-tight faded Wranglers topped with button-down countrified blouse, this mythical creature stepped up to a truck much taller and dirtier than herself, and drove away in true style, country musak blaring and exhaust pipe spewing illegal amounts of smoke. I thought I'd add her in here, to show that they do exist. Wish I'd had my camera. Belongs in the Bestiary along with Elvis impersonators, waitresses on skates, and people who walk their cats.
I met with the Bastard today to discuss a poem I've got to write a paper on. We sat in his office, around a table stacked with books he's probably read, and talked about drunken cows and incompetent farmers. I once again want to thank Doc for providing me with the ammunition to not appear stupid in front of Professor B, and to inform him that I would have made him proud with my extensive knowledge of how everything could be taken back to the Garden of Eden and "the plug." Many folks will know that reference. Remember the plug. It's important. It's where babies come from.
I then proceeded to attend class, fall asleep with my eyes open, and only snap to it by means of a well-placed elbow jab from R when class was over. Don't ask me for an overview. All I know is that I was on a hill somewhere, surrounded by flying cows that were drooling scumble, while watching evil wizards write in their diaries. I do remember one well placed phrase from the mouth of B. He said that if someone were taping the class, they would play the tape back and hear two voices. One was smooth, confident, speaking beautifully and uttering meaningful words of wisdom and wonder. That was him, reading the poems. The other was stammering, confused, frustrated, and wavering. That was him, trying to get us to understand the poems. It's about as close to self-deprecation as he'll ever get. He practically flat-out praised himself for his marvelous reading voice, while implying that we miserable peons couldn't grasp the poetry. As a miserable peon myself, I guess I have to agree with him. That's what miserable peons do.
I botched the good doctor's scarf after my meeting with B. Had to start over when the thread tangled and knotted in such a way that I spent half an hour before admitting defeat. At least I hadn't gotten more than a few rows into it. I've had the most miserable luck with this project. I've started over three times because I didn't like the number of stitches (it's hard to tell until you've gone a ways how many stitches equal the width you're after), and I've unraveled it a fourth time because I started working at it when I was uber-stressed and the thing got all tight and lumpy. It's not the kind of yarn you can work over again all that many times. I need to just sit down and get this project off my lap, since it seems to carry some sort of bad vibe. I swear the thing is jinxed. We'll see what it's like when it's finished (if it ever gets that far). I have the feeling that completion will relieve it of this frustration factor.
Well, that's all for now. I've still got half a book to read, and an article, and a paper for tomorrow, although I don't think I'll do the paper. We have to do 5 out of 6, and I haven't missed one yet. Take care all, and hopefully I'll be back to blog more regularly.
End.
posted by Rehkmira @ 01:18
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